Monday, March 05, 2007

Tuesday Ten: The Heebie-Jeebies

Ten things That Make Me Want to Vomit

1. Vomit.

That's all I can think of that really and truly makes me want to throw up. Puke makes me want to puke. Which is why loving husband usually cleans up the vomit around here. Last time I cleaned up because lovely lady woke me and I thought it would be kind of cheesy to wake loving husband for puke duty and go back to sleep myself. I gagged so loudly that lovely lady started crying.

It's all Megan's fault that you have to read this. She suggested "Ten Things That Make Me Want to Vomit," and like a good team player I started this post. Fortunately, she emailed me again and said this topic is too gross. So....

Ten Things That Give Me the Heebie-Jeebies

1. Vomit. Well, yeah. I think I've already said enough about that.

2. Spiders and other crawling things crawling on me. I don't mind a nice little house or garden spider that stays on the wall or in the rosemary where it belongs and eats bugs. Or even a bug that stays in its little spot that's not on me or in any danger whatsoever of being on me, as long as it's not of the stinging or biting variety. But.....gah! Those tiny little legs crawling on my skin! I am shivering just thinking of it.

3. Being home alone after dark. I get the creeps. Even though I know it's just my imagination making my skin crawl, I can't stop the feeling that there might be someone watching through the window, waiting in the basement, something under the bed reaching out its long green arms to grab my ankles!

4. Needles. Give a natural drug-free birth to a giant baby, or let someone stick a needle in my back? I bookmarked the page with the picture of the looooong scary needle. "Show me this if I ask for an epidural," I instructed loving husband.

5. Eerie stories. Bloody horror movies? Eh. Boring. Give me a good eerie supernatural story about ghosts and such and I get goosebumps.

6. Goosebumps. Ew. Those things are so weird. Goosebumps give me goosebumps.

7. Wanna really see me squirm? Tell me the story of the time you....

Broke your finger and the bone was sticking out.
Sliced your hand open with a steak knife.
Kicked a rock in my pasture and hurt your toe.
Got any weird or really disgusting injury.

It makes the back of my neck cringe and my knees turn to jelly. Ha ha. Real funny.

8. The Shining. I first read The Shining (Stephen King) when I was in high school. While I was babysitting. Alone in a strange house. I kept reading and reading and reading because even though I was completely freaked out it was better than the alternative, which was stop reading and listen to the strange sounds in the strange house. All by myself.

9. Weird stuff. Every once in a while something really weird and random will happen. It happens to everyone. Most of us know that somehow somewhere there is a perfectly natural explanation for whatever it is. But it's still weird. Like in a house I lived in, my daughter got a balloon for her birthday. The balloon followed me around the house. I'd walk from the bedroom to the living room, pretty soon the balloon would float silently into the living room. Walk back to the computer room. When I came out, there it was waiting for me in the hallway. I'm sure it had something to do with air currents and such, but still. Creepy, especially late at night when I was by myself. Ditto for the little battery-operated toys that would start playing by themselves. Sure, it was probably just the battery doing something weird, or the toy shifted imperceptibly-- but why only late at night? When I was alone? And why did it all stop when we moved? Like I said, probably perfectly rational explanations for stuff like that, but still.....heebie-jeebie time.

10. There are really bizarre and bad and sick people walking around out there looking perfectly normal. I wish bad people came with signs on their heads, or that I could buy a bad guy radar.

Read about Irie's heebie-jeebies here. Guaranteed to give you the heebie-jeebies too.

Dawn was brave. Ten things that make Dawn want to vomit.

Cristy was on number nine on her list of things that make her want to vomit. So she finished her list and wrote one about her heebie-jeebies too. See, there's something to be said for procrastination. Read her lists here.


Anonymous said...

What happened to your toe? It went <---- that away! Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it! Patty had the best childhood accident, being dragged down a gravel lane by her head on a horse. 14 stitches and about a pound of gravel removed from her skull. Ouch!

Mom2Morgan.Dylan said...

Ghosts! I forgot about ghosts. I actually left a vacation when the house I was staying in seemed... not right... at night. Want to hear about the time that Dylan got 16 stitches in his leg???

Cathy said...

Thanks a lot gals.

Sheesh! With friends like you...


Sarah from the board. said...

Can I add the time that I sliced my eyeball open on the sharp edge of an old TV antenna?

Cathy said...

Oh man, Sarah, no. Please don't. ;-)

Augh! Too late...I'll never forget this one now. It's seared into my brain.