Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Balance
I am driving myself crazy.
I see the value in structure, so I try to create a family routine and structure...And I see the value in flexibility and spontaneity, so I try to go with the flow.
I value music education and physical fitness, so my children are involved in choir and piano and sports...And I value downtime, time to rest and relax and play and daydream.
I value structured formal academics...And I value time spent pursuing our interests and learning what suits us in the moment.
I value exploring interests deeply and fully...And I value exposure to many different ideas, concepts, languages, experiences.
I value free spirits and light hearts and strong wills...and I value good manners and behavior.
I value school time, family time, work time, time to play with friends, time to read, time to talk, time to rest, time to daydream.
I want to devote my time to developing real friendships, to raising my children, to nurturing my marriage, to creating a comfortable home, to studying new ideas, to having new experiences and making wonderful memories.
I want it all. I want to have it all. I want to do it all.
The problem is that there simply isn't time for it all. We cannot spend hours watching the clouds, and still get in a good piano practice. It doesn't make sense to pay for scheduled activities like gymnastics and swimming and piano and choir, then take off for a week camping in the spring. A day spent playing with friends means a day of missed schoolwork. Creating a family routine that helps us measure the flow of our days is impossible if we drop everything at the spur of every moment in the name of spontaneity.
I know we'll find the balance we need, and that once we do our lives will shift and shift and shift again. I am immensely grateful for the choices we've been given. Someday we'll miss these busy days.
Life is good.
I see the value in structure, so I try to create a family routine and structure...And I see the value in flexibility and spontaneity, so I try to go with the flow.
I value music education and physical fitness, so my children are involved in choir and piano and sports...And I value downtime, time to rest and relax and play and daydream.
I value structured formal academics...And I value time spent pursuing our interests and learning what suits us in the moment.
I value exploring interests deeply and fully...And I value exposure to many different ideas, concepts, languages, experiences.
I value free spirits and light hearts and strong wills...and I value good manners and behavior.
I value school time, family time, work time, time to play with friends, time to read, time to talk, time to rest, time to daydream.
I want to devote my time to developing real friendships, to raising my children, to nurturing my marriage, to creating a comfortable home, to studying new ideas, to having new experiences and making wonderful memories.
I want it all. I want to have it all. I want to do it all.
The problem is that there simply isn't time for it all. We cannot spend hours watching the clouds, and still get in a good piano practice. It doesn't make sense to pay for scheduled activities like gymnastics and swimming and piano and choir, then take off for a week camping in the spring. A day spent playing with friends means a day of missed schoolwork. Creating a family routine that helps us measure the flow of our days is impossible if we drop everything at the spur of every moment in the name of spontaneity.
Living a thoughtful life, one in which we take responsibility for our choices and experiences, requires careful consideration not only of what we want to do, but of what we're giving up in order to do those things. In a sense this is the crux of our lives, for all of us who live a life that allows us these kinds of choices anyway. This is what life is all about. We create our lives through the choices that we make and the ways that we use our time, whether we choose to swing in the hammock or dig up the garden or go to a movie or drive to the beach.
I know we'll find the balance we need, and that once we do our lives will shift and shift and shift again. I am immensely grateful for the choices we've been given. Someday we'll miss these busy days.
Life is good.
Friday, January 09, 2009
True Story
I got an email from a dear friend: "I sent you chocolate chip cookies!" it said, but no link. It made me smile that she'd been thinking of me and was sending me virtual cookies. I meant to email her to tell her she forgot to include the link, but I got sidetracked and forgot.Fast forward a few days. I suddenly wanted chocolate chip cookies. I didn't want to make them all by myself. I went upstairs to beg my darling daughter to make cookies with her mother. Alas, she said no, and I slouched back down the stairs.
The fine young gents had finished bedtime stories on the couch. One gent opened the front door to let in the cat...."A package!" he cried. "We got a package!"
Guess what was inside?
The cookies were shortly followed by dear friend herself. We hung out this afternoon, sipping tea. Not very exciting, but a much-needed balm to the soul. I met my dear friends for dinner this evening. (Minus one, we missed you and ate an extra dessert in your name.)
It's been a rough few weeks, particularly with my lovely lady with autism, and I needed that time more than even I knew. Chocolate chip cookies for the tummy and chocolate chip cookies for the spirit.
Life is good.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Last Week's (Nearly) Wordless Wednesday: 2008
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Sunday, December 28, 2008
We must be doing something right
For four days, my boys have been sharing their toys. Without a word from loving husband or me.
When these fine fine young gentlemen have opened multi-piece packs, say a track with several Hot Wheels, they chose which parts--cars, guys, swords--to give to their brothers. Not to play-with-for-now, or give-and-take-back. Give.
"That's mine," has almost always been followed by, "But you can try it when I'm done," or "Do you want a turn?"
I hear a fine young gent reply "Sure, you can have a turn!" or "In a minute I'll be done, then you can try" to a request of "Can I have a turn?"
They're generous with their time, too. "Want to play a game?" or "Will you help me?" has been followed by "Sure!"
Not every single time. After all, they're not perfect. Sometimes they're loud, or naughty, or cross. Sometimes they're even selfish. No one wants to share every thing, always, nor should they be expected to do so. But they're working it out peacefully together.
The desire of my heart for my young gents is that they grow up to love and treasure one another, to share good things and to speak words of peace and kindness. I am raising them not to be perfect in this moment, but to be fine gentle men who speak and live peace. I can see them growing loving hearts. Life is good.
When these fine fine young gentlemen have opened multi-piece packs, say a track with several Hot Wheels, they chose which parts--cars, guys, swords--to give to their brothers. Not to play-with-for-now, or give-and-take-back. Give.
"That's mine," has almost always been followed by, "But you can try it when I'm done," or "Do you want a turn?"
I hear a fine young gent reply "Sure, you can have a turn!" or "In a minute I'll be done, then you can try" to a request of "Can I have a turn?"
They're generous with their time, too. "Want to play a game?" or "Will you help me?" has been followed by "Sure!"
Not every single time. After all, they're not perfect. Sometimes they're loud, or naughty, or cross. Sometimes they're even selfish. No one wants to share every thing, always, nor should they be expected to do so. But they're working it out peacefully together.
The desire of my heart for my young gents is that they grow up to love and treasure one another, to share good things and to speak words of peace and kindness. I am raising them not to be perfect in this moment, but to be fine gentle men who speak and live peace. I can see them growing loving hearts. Life is good.
Friday, December 26, 2008
'Twas the night after Christmas...
...and all through the house...
wafts the smell of turkey broth, remnants of Christmas dinner, waiting to cool and go into the freezer. There's half a tin of fudge on the buffet, and there was leftover ham and turkey and sweet potatoes for lunch.
A Hot Wheels track runs across the middle of the living room floor, and Lego creations of all ships and sizes have been gathered from around the house to perch patiently at the ends of the fine young gents' beds, waiting to find out where they'll fly and what they'll be tomorrow. There's a large playground ball on the landing, resting after a day of getting bounced down the stairs and hauled back to the top to go again. A board game and a coloring book and a puzzle neatly stacked on the table, waiting for new homes on the shelf.
A brand-new dictionary (with modern words like email and internet) sits on the bookshelf, next to a new book. And yesterday I discovered that there were indeed a few things, chosen by people who know me and love me, that I needed (garden gloves) and wanted (a handmade ceramic bowl) and would love (a fat chicken for my mantel).
The fine young gents have been bathed and tucked into bed, reading books with crisp pages and that clean new-book smell.
The closets have been cleaned, and neatly labelled boxes and bags--Goodwill, The Relief Nursery, Friends--sit in the hallway. The tree is still blinking, but not for long. Boxes and ribbons and bags have piled up next to the upstairs closet to be organized and put away until next year. Soon Christmas will be packed away into the basement, up in the attic, out at the curb until we do it all again next year.
Love and peace to all, dear friends, to those of you we know and cherish, and to those we've never met.
Life is good.
wafts the smell of turkey broth, remnants of Christmas dinner, waiting to cool and go into the freezer. There's half a tin of fudge on the buffet, and there was leftover ham and turkey and sweet potatoes for lunch.
A Hot Wheels track runs across the middle of the living room floor, and Lego creations of all ships and sizes have been gathered from around the house to perch patiently at the ends of the fine young gents' beds, waiting to find out where they'll fly and what they'll be tomorrow. There's a large playground ball on the landing, resting after a day of getting bounced down the stairs and hauled back to the top to go again. A board game and a coloring book and a puzzle neatly stacked on the table, waiting for new homes on the shelf.
A brand-new dictionary (with modern words like email and internet) sits on the bookshelf, next to a new book. And yesterday I discovered that there were indeed a few things, chosen by people who know me and love me, that I needed (garden gloves) and wanted (a handmade ceramic bowl) and would love (a fat chicken for my mantel).
The fine young gents have been bathed and tucked into bed, reading books with crisp pages and that clean new-book smell.
The closets have been cleaned, and neatly labelled boxes and bags--Goodwill, The Relief Nursery, Friends--sit in the hallway. The tree is still blinking, but not for long. Boxes and ribbons and bags have piled up next to the upstairs closet to be organized and put away until next year. Soon Christmas will be packed away into the basement, up in the attic, out at the curb until we do it all again next year.
Love and peace to all, dear friends, to those of you we know and cherish, and to those we've never met.
Life is good.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I can't think of a single thing....
I love this season. The stockings, the lights, the tree. Making cards and decorating cookies and putting together paper bag gifts for our young friends. Christmas carols. Candles and poinsettias and hot chocolate and letters to Santa.Loving husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas. We've already had snow, and the only other thing I could think of is a new dictionary. Nothing else? he asked. Really, nothing else. I got shoes and books for my birthday, and I can't think of anything else that I want or need.
I already have everything I could want or need: Health, happiness, loving friends and family, a warm home, good food to eat. And books to read. Gifts under the tree are icing on the cake.
Life is good.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Think: Rocks, rocks, rocks
Think! Challenge: Rocks.Choose 7 rocks of different shapes and sizes, all two inches or larger. Build the tallest tower you can build.
We're a little behind on the Think! challenges, what with snow, and holiday projects and outings, and tummyaches. But this challenge was fabulous, well worth doing just for fun. We weren't able to go outside to choose our rocks. Rocks over two inches in size are in short supply around here, and it's too cold outside to go digging around for rocks anyway. As luck would have it, we'd collected rocks on our last outing to the beach, and the boys had a rock collection in a small box, so we were able to track down nine large rocks. The fine young gents started out measuring all of the rocks to make sure the rocks were larger than two inches, which led to a discussion of how to measure sizes: Does it have to be taller than two inches when sitting on the table? Or does it just have to have a surface longer or taller than two inches? They decided that if they could find two inches of rock, it didn't matter if it was a long flat rock or a round rock. Lovely problem-solving there.
We had some challenging shapes. Knowing nothing about rock-building, it took me quite some time to build the structure above. I didn't measure it, so I have no idea how tall it is, but I dealt with quite a few tumbles before I was able to get a tower that stayed up.
Calvin's first completed structure was about 6-1/2 inches. He continued building, but wasn't interested in measuring his other structures.The challenge he was most interested in was self-imposed: How to make a rock bridge. The two gents worked together on that puzzle for quite a while.
Lovely learning opportunities in this challenge:Vocabulary--balance, stability, convex, concave, wedge
Engineering--how surfaces fit together, finding ways to stabilize a structure, building different structures with the same materials
Persistence--how to maintain a positive attitude when your structure keeps tumbling
Teamwork--working together, listening to the ideas of others and incorporating them into your own
Fun!
Look at that smile! Tolly built a 4-1/2 inch structure. He was just interested in building something that would stay up. He also spent a long time building new towers and bridges once he'd measured his first structure.The challenge for me: Knowing that if only he'd try this or that, he could make his structure taller. But, as with his brother, getting the tallest structure possible wasn't as important to him as it was to his rule-following momma. He enjoyed the building and the measuring. He was happy with his final structure.
A good challenge inspires thought, fun, and variation. We only had one set of large rocks, so while his brother built with rocks larger than one inch, Tolly built with the rejected smaller rocks. He had a grand time measuring and knocking down his small towers.
While these fine young gents worked on their rock structures, their youngest brother built block towers and knocked them down. I'd intended the Think! activity as our morning warm-up, thinking fifteen, twenty minutes. By the time we were all done building, more than an hour had passed, and the rocks were left out for three more days so that the boys had a chance to build and rebuild and rebuild again. Lovely!Consider trying this week's Holiday Challenge: Build a tree! It looks like fun.
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