Saturday, October 25, 2008
I wish I could freeze time.
I was talking to a woman I know, and she mentioned that she wasn't close to her brother, and that her husband was not close to his brother. And I wondered, How does that happen? And, more importantly, how do I keep that from happening?
I know. Part of the answer is that I don't. I can't. They will grow up to be their own people, with their own directions, their own differences, their own choices and ideas and paths. I cannot force them to love one another.
Heaven knows, my sisters and I....who would have guessed that we'd have such genuine regard and enjoyment for one another as adults?
My lovely Irie sis was so much younger. She grew up in a different place, at a different time, nearly in a different family.
My Busy Farm sis and I bickered constantly. We didn't seem to have much in common.
Now, I consider them to be my best friends.
I was out at the Busy Farm this morning, butchering chickens. How many people do you know that would help you butcher a chicken? I know one. (I'll bet my Irie sis would help if I really really needed it, though, if only she wasn't vegetarian. Maybe she'd help me butcher pumpkins.)
And yet, along with my mother, these are the women I love and treasure the most in the world, my sisters. I admire my sisters. I rely on my sisters. I value their thoughts. They make me laugh, and I know if I needed a shoulder upon which to cry they'd be right there. They are a part of my daily life even when I haven't talked to them for weeks because I know that if I need them all I have to do is pick up the phone to say, "What do you think about this?" Or "When are you butchering chickens?"
Maybe it has something to do with a shared childhood, shared values and experiences that transcend religious, political, philosophical differences. I don't know how to create that for my boys, other than to remind them every day: You are brothers. When everyone else in your life has moved on, you will still be brothers. Fight if you must, but forgive one another. Love each other. Take care of each other. Help one another. Be kind and honest and gracious to one another. And call your mom once in a while when you're grown.