Wednesday Whines

Ten Whines on Wednesday

Oh dear. My life is just so wonderful I can't think of a single whine.







Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Just kidding.

Let's start with 1. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy won't my kids stop whiiiiiiiiining? I've only got two whiners, an eleven-year-old whines-to-annoy and a four year-old using his special four-year-old I-don't-know-I'm-whining voice. I can actually feel my eardrums shrivel.

2. I don't waaaaaa-aaant to....cook, do the laundry, pick up the house. Think I could convince my family that they don't need to eat or wear clean clothes for the next week?

3. My knee hurts, my neck hurts, my toe hurts. And I'm sure they hurt far more than anyone else's knee, neck, toe have ever hurt in the history of the world. At least they're far more annoying. Not necessarily to me. Mostly to everyone within earshot.

4. I'm tiiiii-iired. Loving husband's contribution. "What do I whine about, honey?" I ask sweetly. Obviously he didn't read all of the chapters in the Loving Husband Handbook because instead of saying, "Nothing, dear. I love your sunny outlook on life," he answered my question.

5. My husband just doesn't understand me. Naaah. He understands me too well. If he'd said "Nothing dear," in response to my question I'd have badgered him to tell me the truth. But he could have pretended to be a little reluctant to share, don't you think?

6. Gas prices. Good gravy.

7. It's raaaaiining. Nothing like a good weather whine, a kind of all-purpose all-season standby. In the rainy spring I can whine for sunshine, in the summer I can whine for rain and cold, in the winter I can whine for hot summery days.

8. I'm done with the autism blends with snotty preteen thing. This is my whines-to-annoy kid. She's got the attitude and the hormones of a preteen in conjunction with limited coping mechanisms and social boundaries. Because I'm her "Moooooo-oooom!" (insert rolling eyes here-- I don't think she can say "Mom" normally any more) I get to deal. "I've noticed she's had kind of a little attitude lately," remarked her dad when he dropped her off the other day. Kind of? Little attitude? Sheesh. I'm sending her to his house for the next....(counting under my breath)....seven years.

9. But...but...but...I'll miiiiiiiiiiiiiis you. Lovely lady, 14 is enrolling in our area high school, starting as a freshman in the fall. We've got an appointment with the guidance counselor next week. She's excited. I'm excited for her. Homeschooling will certainly be easier without a fairly rigorous eighth-grade education to supervise. But I'm going to miss having her around. Her sunny mellow presence provides a nice balance for the rest of the intense energetic pack. Plus, I like her. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

10. Stuck on number ten again. I can't think of anything else to whine about. Boohoo for me.

Next week: Who are you? What forces have shaped your destiny? Ten things that have made you the unique and quirky person you are today. They can be as profound as deep thoughts from a loved one or as silly as the real reason you have a toe phobia to this day.