Attention, please. This announcement is for anyone shorter than myself residing in this household. I will be unavailable for the next two minutes. During this time you may not engage in ANY of the following behaviors:
Screaming, for any reason. If someone is dying, go get Dad.
Hitting, pinching, punching, poking, pushing, biting. Furthermore, if you do hit another, and that other complains, you may not say anything resembling "I didn't hit/push/poke, I just punched/bumped/did this."
Banging on the bathroom door. You may not insist upon using the bathroom occupied by Mom, scream bloody murder to Mom because your brother looked at you sideways, or tattle. Please use your own bathroom, wait, or solve your own problem.
Stand in the hallway yelling, "Mama, I tum in too! Mama, I want tum in!" For goodness' sake, baby, you can live for two minutes without your Mama. I know that for you, peeing in the potty is still a public event to be celebrated, but I prefer silence and privacy, thank you very much.
Telling long complicated stories through the door. Surely such stories deserve my undivided attention.
Editing this post to add the following disclaimer: The bathroom pictured above is not mine. It's a random toilet picture I grabbed off the internet. Those of you who know me already know this because the bathroom is actually painted, and because there's a real live healthy looking plant in the picture. Plants and I don't get along. They hate me and so they die to show their disgust at the fact that I hardly ever water them. Thank you.
I forgot to post this week's Tuesday Ten idea, sorry about that. You can a) skip it, b) make up your own, or c) join me tomorrow for Tuesday Ten~Wednesday Whines: Pass the cheese as I find Ten Things About Which to Whine.