1. "Where is my ______?" Math book, shoe, Lego car, iPod, pencil, milk, golf ball. Almost always followed by.....
1- 1/2. "No," in response to the question, "Did you look for it before you asked?" And, my favorite, kindergarten gent, when gently encouraged (yeah, that's it, gently encouraged, uh huh) to go look, "But I don't know where it is." Thump-thump-thump....that's me, banging my head on the table.
I'm sorry sweet darlings, but I am not your personal keep-tracker-of-things.
2. "Mom, when I was playing piano, the girls loved me." Kindergarten gent, after playing a few pieces on the choir piano before choir practice. Yeah, babe, that piano, it's a real chick magnet.
3. "Some farting just went here instead of over here." Four-year-old gent, walking to the dinner table, a little puzzled. He was even more puzzled when we all burst into laughter. Poor guy. It really struck our funny bones. A little later, in the kitchen, he quietly whispered to me, "Mom, are farts big brown bubbles that explode?" When I assured him that they were not, he looked around the corner and shouted, "They are not!" Silence then giggles from the older bunch. Sigh.....
4. "I five. I not two, I five." Two-year-old gent is insistent that he is NOT two. Two weeks ago I told him he could not have a hard candy until he's five. Problem solved. He's pretty mad that I won't give him the candy even though I promised. He also insists that he can drive the car. "I five. I drive now." Oh boy.
5. "You're the worst mom ever!" Lovely lady, 11, having a really rough time this week. Apparently expecting one to brush one's teeth is tantamount to child abuse. I sent her into the shower with instructions to come down and talk to me once she was washed, brushed, and ready for headgear. She screamed about her rotten miserable life and her terrible mother for the entire fifteen minutes she showered, then came down and snuggled with me on the couch. Fortunately two nights later while my lovely lady went to a gymnastics evening with a good friend, good friend's mom and I went to the movies. Good friend has similar issues, and apparently her mom hears the same thing. Actually, the "worst mom" thing doesn't phase me much any more. Good friend's mom and I agreed that it's much easier than this one....
6. "You hate me!" Now that's hard to hear. Skin like a rhino, that's me.
7. "But...." Thump-thump-thump. I'm not sure our table will survive until they're all grown.
8. "May I please...." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Music to a mother's ears. We've been working hard on this one.
9. "Mom, look at the...." Butterflies, this rock, Poppy, the sky. I love that they want to share the world with me. They're all marvelous people.
10. "I love you." Aw, now. Darn they're sweet. And they have to go and throw in hugs and kisses and all that mushy stuff. All right, I forgive the rotten little stinkers for not being able to find their stuff and talking about farts and saying "Yeah-but" and even for screaming at me.
Next Week: Ten Things I Love About ____________. You choose. Love your neighbors? Pie? Your closet? Choose something you love, or at least really really like, and tell us why.
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